HAHAHAH

Part Two x No Use For A Name

Bro's off to field camp tomorrow... Fer 3 days...

UTTER PEACE.

Stuffs going down the drain.

Home.

Skool.

And all that shiznitz.

I've got a major headache from sleepless nights.

My world is crumbling.

Major thanks to those who provided me with

:15 packets of Scotts tissue

:Stress-free pool session

:A shoulder to lean my head on

:Huggs to make it all better

:Listening to my craps and understanding me

:Long rantings on the phone

If there weren't any of you peeps, I dunno what I'll do sey...

Major THANKS.

I'm Prolly Menopausing

Screaming Infidelity x Dashboard Confessional

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

Yes people,I do listen to such songs at times...now, don't looked so shocked.

I'm emofied ryte now and gosh,I hate this feeling...
I wanna go out and have fun but everything I do just doesn't feel ryte...
Does that makes sense?
I...dunno la...

I must be menopausing or something...
I'm aging remember...Haish

I dread tomorrow...Gonna lock myself up with my huge cushions in the room and not face the world...

Ouh ya...one of my galfrens said this to me:
"Guys are all the same...when they're chasing and courting you,they'll be there fer you and their egos just disappear...but...when they finally get you,they change back to their normal insensitive JERKFUL SELVES."

Well...I used to think that all guys WERE the same...
Until...I realised they're not...and they can be the most goddamned wonderful beings ever.

So,girlie...I just hafta disagree with you on that one.. =)

Frenzy

Aku X Peterpan

Heyhey peeps... Ok first and foremost,skool ain't so bad afterall ryte?Hehs.

I've got a freakin headache and Cognitive isn't helping making me feel better.
My calves ache lyk hell sey...
On a slimming frenzy with Xuany...
5 kg lighter since 1 1/2 weeks ago.
Extreme exercising
Skipped 800+ +jogged fer 20 minutes along the Expressway+Sit Ups+Ab Slides.

AND NO...

NO BANGLAS OR WHATEVER FOREIGN WORKERS OKAY!?

Best.
Anyways,there's soooo many things I wanna do...
Hmmm...

-I wanna dye my hair dark purple

-I wanna buy a huge trampoline

-I wanna go to Mandai zoo

-I wanna find Wave Hoop

-i wanna say hi and smile to Mr Eyeliner Guy.

and most of all..

- I wanna start over with...

argh...fuck it...i'm nothing anymore.

Right, I'm off to play Star Wars Battlefront now...The Battle of Naboo awaits the presence of their most precious Jedi,SkiN...wahahs.

=)

its over...i guess

If All Else Fails x Matchbook Romance

Call it girly instincts or whatever nonsense.

But somehow, someway, the end happened before I could take a step back and grab hold of what's left.

What's left..you ask?

Not much.And you wouldn't want any of it.

Its okay.Seriously.I'll take it in my stride.I'll walk myself through.

I've been here before,only this time it's muchmuchmuch more...

Thanks fer making me whole again.

Thanks fer creating those damn wonderful moments with me.

I'm sorry if I made this a bad memory.

I didn't mean fer things to turn out this way.

Bangla alerts.

Falling Away x Amber Pacific

I'm officially scared of bangla foreign workers..

Gimme the creeps...they'll stare at you...up to down...and stop at ur lady lumps.

GREAT.

Went hari raya visiting with my sec skool peeps yesterday...

Siti,Maya,Shafiqah,Shafik,Syimah,Hafiz,Shafik(Az's bf),Aznita,Nur,Ein,Yul,Fauzi,Khairul and me.

Kecoh lykkkk helllllll!!!

We went to meet up at Punggol and went up to Hougang,all the way to Choa Chu Kang and back to Sengkang...ONE WHOLE EFFING DAY...

Was sposed to meet up at Khairul's place but no one but me knows where it is except for me... Haha...crap seh...I used to go to his place last time...and like chat with his mum and just hang out with him...like...his family knows me and my family knows him... that sorta thingie la...Bestest guy fren...but not bf material...Almost,but...not meant to be. =)

We were sposed to meet up at 11 a.m...but ended meeting an hour later at his place... typical.

Went to loadsa houses and took loadsa pictures...I'll upload them soon yeah...Check them out at my Shits&Giggles...hehs.

On the way to CCK, the bangla attack began...I wanted to change my seats...cos there was 3 banglas sitting in front of me,STARING at me.I was seated between Siti & Khairul...and desperate times requires desperate measures ryte?So....Khairul acted lyk my bf..hahaha...

The banglas stared at him lyk what sey....Rubbish sia...And when we alighted at Outram Park station,this torrent of banglas came and they were lyk...all staring sey...lyk I killed their brother or something lyk that...Gees.

We're going visiting again this Saturday!?

Raye dah basi la oi...

I reached home near 1+a.m....yet,I didn't sleep the whole night....

Date with Guru 12.45 this Wednesday...gosh...I'm in fer it!!

Getting yourself into deep shit is a wise move....NOT!

Weeeeeee.

Follow Me x Rufio

Entire day dedicated to shopping and towning = BLISS

Went out with Xuany & Bengy...

Ok,the whole point of the entire trip was to get a dark red or maroon slip on hoodie fer darling Bengy...but after 4 shopping centres, countless stories of shops and tons of BLACK hoodie... Nothin caught his eye...Haha...

Brought them to Image 2001 at Far East at first....Got lotsa nice black hoodies but way off budget...I need to stop buying tees from there...One piece cost me $64... Gosh...and I bought one per week fer the last 3 weeks...Haish.

Being themsleves, they tempted me to Chocolates and Shopping... 2 things that are my drugs.

BUT I RESISTED,OF COURSE!

So proud of myself,I only bought a belt... which Bengy chose...so,if its not nice...BLAME HIM!

But,its nice..I LIKE IT ALOT...white,with studs.

And cheap too.

Ouh ya, Xuany wanted to buy this KNNBCCB shirt from Instant Karma...

Super nice...but too big fer him...so, I think, he's gonna go fer the one at Topman.

I'm saving fer that $129 FCUK jacket...I'm in love.

Went Cine to pool after that,and apparently, they said that they've never seen me so serious before...not even in skool...Gosh, I need more practice...I suck at pool... So paisei.

HOI JIAXUAN...WHAT LADY WARRIOR ARMED WITH A CUE!?

Xuany had to go meet up with his bro at 6.15 pm fer some Sarawak noodles at Chinatown,I think.

Bengy and me went to look fer my belt and just walked around somemore at Heeren.

In the end, we bought this beady,wooden bracelet fer Bengy and proceeded to Plaza Singapura at 6.45pm cos Bengy found all the belts at Heeren funny or too girly fer me...which I totally agree.

Bought my belt then went to grab some drinks...it was about 7.30 p.m then...we went to sit at the steps outside and just talked...well, I talked... he listened... You know,bout stuff... And I'm kinda grateful to have someone to talk to... And I'm glad it was him that I talked to...Yeah. =)

Talked all the way till 8.30 p.m before we decided to call it a day...I reached home around 9.15...I think.

Aiyoooo...Khairul wants to catch a midnight movie...TONIGHT!?Gosh, we're going Hari Raya visiting tomorrow...Nonsense la he..I guess it all depends on my mood later... Kinda shagged to the max.

I'm outta here.

Its Not So Bad.

Sunset & Carcrashes x The Spill Canvas

If I were to lose you...

It won't be so bad... Right...?

It's Not So Bad...

You're Only The Best I Ever Had.

omg

Reinventing Your Exit x Underoath

Ok, shit.
I'm freaking freaked out at this moment

Ryte NOW.
THIS POINT OF TIME.

kk...Just now,I forced myself to go and exercise to lose the unnecessary shits in my body.
Took the same route as yesterdae, when I went jogging with my cous ar.

But this tym, I went alone.

K...i warmed up..went up & down the entire 17 storeys twice then went fer my jog...
It was about 7.45 p.m.

The thing is,my block is undergoing painting.
And the painters are this thailand foreign workers who are always with uncombed hair and tanned skin and long sleeve "Phua Chu Kang" button downs.

So, jog,jog,jog..
Around 8.45 lykdat...decided to turn back...
Took the longer route fer maximum exercise ar...then suddenly, I heard footsteps behind me.
Turned, then there was one of those Thai workers...fark..smile that stewpid smile... ignored him and pressed on running faster...
Heard him walking at a faster pace too....
I was freaking out already...

I casually turned my head...and guess what the fark I saw...
His belt loop was FUCKING UNBUCKLED..

sial...i freaked out and practically sprinted to the nearest bus stop where I know there was lotsa people...i turned...he was still there...KNN.
He was pulling out his shirt..i think to cover his unlooped belt or something like that ar.

I didn't know how to walk home without being alone...when suddenly, I saw my brother's friends playing guitar under a nearby block...

That fark was hiding behind a wall somewhere near ar...
Told them what was going on..they got up...about 5 of them....around 16 years old like that ar... But they were way taller and tougher than your average 16 year olds.
Then they walked with me to my doorstep...

ouh ya...they were staring at the ass lyk they wanna bash him up before we went away from that block...

I'M NEVER GOING JOGGING AT NIGHT ALONE ANYMORE!

my virginity was at stake dammit...
shucks...i'm still shaken.
curse you asshole.

Last tym, a bangla flashed me his dick and wanted me to touch it.

Now, a thai worker is unbuckling his belt loop fer me.

WHAT DID I DO!?!

wokies.

Never Learn x Rufio

What A Day.

Woke up at 4.30 a.m. to follow my cous fer what was supposed to be a SHORT distanced jog.

Ended up jogging fer 6km.

Shagged to the max...I dragged myself to skool.

Sat down and all my muscles that I didn't know existed were throbbing...sheesh.

Went to class...blabla...6 man team todae.

The replacement fac was nice...yes ar...farnie lyk hell.

Played tennis outside the class with iffa...

Halfway, the Mary security guard came up..I was trying to maintain my laughter...

Make that stoned face...hahah...crap, know.

She was lyk " This is RP ok, not sports school..!!"

Wahahahah...

She wanna act fierce la...but you can see the smile tugging at the corner of her lips...

Ok random stuff...

- Accompanied my brother to Japan embassy fer Robotech competition

-Went to buy Strike Freedom Gundam fer him fer passing his exams

-Dad & him goin to buy electric guitar on god-knows-when

-Mum starts to nag fer spending too much money

-My sister still being a lil brat

kk...that's a wrap.

ARGHHHH.

Just Like Heaven x Taking Back Sunday

THIS IS DRIVING ME CRAZY.

LET'S SETTLE IT ONCE AND FER ALL...

PLEASE...

i'm skared...i wish i could tell you.

now i know...

i guess...

nah....i dun wanna think of the worse.

in any case, if you wanna look back..

i'll still be ryte here.

watching yer back...

i promised you that remember...?

and i meant it.

Bleahx.

Three Simple Words x Finch

Pon-ed skool again yesterdae...
Lyk wat Bengy asked
"What's gotten into you...?"

Hahs...yar...no mood lar yesterdae.
And when Xuan and Lionel said they pon-ed....
I followed their flowwwwwww.
But I'm in skool todae...so yar...hehs.

Christine,Lionel,Xuan and Me.

A well spent morning.

-X-Box-ed = Kung Fu Chaos...farnie lyk fcuk.
-Went to the temple at Bugis where the 3 of em went to pray fer awhile.
-Went fer lunch at the nearby Hawker Centre
-Bought tix fer The Exorcism of Emily Rose....which was kinda alrite...Lionel and I slept fer awhile though..hehs.
-Went to Bugis Street cos Xuan wanted to get a sling bag
-Went to Ice Monster and ate $8 desert in 10 minutes flat...woots.

Lyk what Xuan said, "Got 80 cents ice cream we don't eat, we go eat $8 ice cream."
Nonsense la...Ahaha.

Went home after that...super sleepy.

Ouhya...
To those retaking Maths O-Level...

You've finally completed it!
All the best yar...
Khairul said it was easy though..hmms...I mean...He was in a good mood when he finished his paper...
The first thing he said was, "Hello, sunshine.."

wtf lar...

And from there,you can conclude he was happy giler
Goin shoe shopping with him later...
I NEED SHOES!

kk....that's a wrap.
I wanna sleep.

Tiffy,your fries smell damn good.yumm.

Shagged but happy yet....

afi x The Hanging Garden

Woke up at 5.30 a.m todae...so I can shampoo my hair...yar....
Woke up feeling moody and it felt lyk doomsday...moody lyk hell...
Woke Xuan up using the wake up call method and the only word I remember him saying is "DIE..."

Went to skool accompanied by Cauterize and Sugarcult songs...
Haihs...Had the blues la siot...

Reached skool at 8.27 a.m...the peeps were already there..some gone...
Sad sad sad.... then decided to pon...and that was the best thing that happened today...
Took the damned UT in the library but we got caught by the invigilator cos we were supposed to be absent..yet somehow,we were taking the UT...fcuk la....Haihs...

Enuff of these sorta shits already.

The Pon Gang - Christine,Gina,Valen,Tyang,Lionel,Xuan,Bengy and me...

Slacked with the big cushions fer awhile at the library...watched Bengy play Football Manager fer awhile and then took a cab to Cine to play pool...

PLAYED FER 5 HOURS STRAIGHT!

okok...i seriously suck at pool...i suck sooo much that I can't suck better anymore..
Luckily, my personal coaches...Lionel & Bengy were so EFFING PATIENT with me...

And seriously ar...when the ball gets into the pocket and the clacking sound of the balls hitting each other is...whoahhh....indescribable highness.
Bengy and I played a couple of games together...cos the rest were playing billiards..proness.
Thankiew fer your guidance and patience, Mr Beng.

Ouh ya...managed to pocket a couple of balls in a row...
TYCO.

I wanna pool some more!Next week.Next week.Next week.

After that went towning fer awhile with Xuan.
Topshop/Topman/Levi's/FCUK/Adidas/Macdonalds'/The shop that sells sports car models fer $3,990...woosh.

Fcuk on the beach.Cool as Fcuk....I know you want it~

After all that...took 132 home with Jiaxuan all the way to Ang Mo Kio only...cos got buggers in the bus...can't stand it...so went down and flagged a cabbie.Wah...the cabbie driver talked to me about Air China,SIA and MAS...then talked about us teen girls who keep on "bukak kaki"... directly translated...."Open Leg" which means...I know, you know lar..

Gimme the goosebumps la...But in the end...dunno what got into him...he asked me to pay half of the fare only..yes ar.

My feet hurts,my finger aches,my head throbs...kinda shity ryte...








but when i look at the starrrrsssss.....

broke & tired & its ALL your fault.

International You Day( Acoustic) x No Use For A Name

I'm seeing double...Too many lil cousies who are Gundam destructors.

I'm way way too young to be an auntie...but heck, I got 9 nephews & nieces and 3 more on the way...my cousies are baby making factories, you see.... The freak who goes visitin with Famous Stars & Straps shirt, Levi's and mesh cap... while everyone else is decked in baju kurung and sampings and songkok.. my "darling" bro... sheesh.

This is what happens if you're still visitin at 3.30 a.m in the morning...and you started at 9 a.m.
The generation gaps....The madness that reigned....1 bus, 5 cars and 3 motorbikes...as we attack our "victims". Collection banyak dokkk...hehs.

Haish...kecoh....which means chaotic...which also means hun luan....

k dah.

Its sooooo freakin different this year...

My Little Boifren...

Killing Me x Cauterize

Raya this is year feels so different sey.

From the start of puasa...all the way till the 1st day of Aidilfitri...

The 1 month of fasting literally flashed past...I dunno bout you peeps.. but it felt soooo freaking fast sey. Before I knew it, it was the last day of puasa...and I fasted fer a WHOLE MONTH! Don't ask me why but my menses didnt come...haha...yes ar...

i'm not pregnant dammit.

Preparations for raya was made weeks before puasa. But, the tv had to break down, the washing machine had to leak, the light bulbs had to blow out, the computer had to crash... combo, I tell you.

My dad had to fork out quite a huge sum of cash to pay fer it all... but what to do... We don't have a choice ryte.

Breaking fast during the last day of puasa felt so weird...cos, we could go back as per normal the very next day. I just stared a lot at my food, thinking of what I have or haven't done during this whole 17 years of my life... I still have so much I have to accomplish... making my parents life easier and not put them through so much shit, ensuring that I secure a good education fer my OWN benefit and when my time in this face of the earth is over, I wanna die knowing that I did what I had to...

When I heard the takbir while breaking fast, I knew I was gonna cry...but I didn't wanna bawl front of my family members... the takbir always had this effect on me...it makes me reflect on ALL the shit I put the ones I care for through and all the things I should have done instead.

The first day of Raya...

The whole family was decked in BLUE!!!

New clothes,new shoes, new handbags...haha...gereks.

Then, it was the tym to get down and seek fer forgiveness from my parents.

Fer the first tym in months, I kissed my dad on both cheeks and he kissed my forehead... and I suddenly realised that,damn, this man is responsible fer all the fortunate things I have today...

And my mum just hugged me and didn't let go...she was already all emo and crying... telling me that she's sorry fer not being able to give me what I want and that now that I'm 17, she gives me the freedom to choose which is wrong and which ryte fer me... telling me that in a few years tym I'm gonna leave her and set up my own family.

Sentimental lyk hell lar...but it happens once a year... so yeah, let it be.

Went to my maternal grandma's place. Everybody was there... and when I stood at the front door, no one recognised me... they stared at me and my grandfather even asked " Ni sape plak ni?"..meaning.."Now, who are you?".

WTH...and I said ar..." Shikin lar, tok!"...and he looked so effing shocked...!! He said, " Ya Allah! Da anak dara cucu aku ni...tak lamer lagi nanti dapat la kad jemputan dari kau eh..."

-__-'''

Ok, after all that madness..wanted to go to my fraternal's grandmother's house... Kissed my grandma on the cheek and she just hugged me and kissed my forehead...seriously ar, the kiss of a grandma feels so.... great...and I dunno why...but I have a feeling I won't see her next year anymore...like...its her last...cos she's old and sick already...haish.

At my fraternal grandma's place, same thing again...

My grandma didn't recognise me la sial...i was standing in front of her and she was staring at me like she dunno who the eff I am..haha..then I said la.. " Nek, ni Shikin la...".. and she said I looked soooo different...

What's soooo different saks!??They saw me when we gathered to break fast as a family!And that was lyk...only 2 weeks ago?!

Woots...so, met up with the rest of my couzies and we went visiting as one biggg group. 7 families with 4 -5 members in each family.

Took public transport and there was so many people decked in baju kurungs...I love the feeling ar...

*can't wait to go jalan raya with my peeps...camwhores at work...and confirm kecoh giler nye.

Slamat Hari Raye yar people... i'm outta here..

Boys Like You Are A Dime A Dozen.

What It Is To Burn x Finch

ouhkie peeps...i needa warn you first. This following entry is

MUSHY SHIT.

So ryte, if you CAN'T take mushiness,you can happily click at the lil' red X at the top right hand corner of your screen and I SWEAR i won't hold it against you.

=)

It kills me. I'll never let go. I wanna speak those words but I guess I'll just bite my tongue. I just dun wanna make things any worse than they already are.

The moments where it's just about you and me and when nothing else matters.
The moments where it felt like there was no one except for us, when in actual fact, we were standing amongst a growing crowd...and fuck; you make my cheeks warm even when you're just looking at me. It's your lazy eyes, I suppose.

If this keyboard could absorb water like pen on paper could, this whole entry would appear blotchy. It's okay.

I'm okay. I've grown numb. I've learnt to stand up to this like a fighter.

I've been through this before, and the pain gets worst with each person. You killed me best so far. If I could, I wanna hit restart and hold it at the parts where I'm alone with you. Parts that bring back memories that still bring a smile to my lips and add a spark of hope to my never ending prayers for you.

I've said it once and I'm gonna say it again.
I've never met another like you.
From the way you arrange your words to the way you put your hands in your pockets to the way you look at me straight in the eye...and that smile.
That cheeky smile of yours that cracks me up every time.

You are...

Taking up the memory space in my brain
Contagious and addictive
Rare and precious
Simple yet fulfilling
Unpredictable and surprising
Quiet yet your actions speak a thousand words
Nuts but you think deep enough for the both of us
The Only One for Me.

I'll lie and wait for as long as I need to and I'll only move when you nudge me off this spot.
I'll go when you've said it to my face that I'm nothing in your eyes, your life.
I'll run and never stop when I see you've given up chasing.
I'll scram when I see that I no longer make you happy.

For now, I'm trying to hold it all together.
What's it gonna be like...
I am fucken seriously scared of losing it all.


I told you I could never make you real happy or treat you good enough.
I gotta take more initiative...I gotta look at this straight in the eye, gotta treat you better.

For one to be happy, sacrifices need to be made.
I'd do it if it means making things better. I mean it.
I'm gonna make it work once more.
It's killing me slowly and I'm slowly fading fast.

Let's start over again.

Hey, my name is Shikin...

...and I think I've fallen for you.

*told ya it was mushy...hehs.