i thought my heart was full again.


i thought i finally sensed reassurance.


maybe i'm just selfish.


maybe i'm doing too much.


maybe i am asking for too much.


maybe i'm expecting to much.


Aahh heck,scrape the maybes.


I am selfish.
I am doing too much.
I am asking for too much.
I am expecting too much.


I'm sooooo sorry.
I apologise.
I've gotta understand more.
More than the effort I've put in now.


But, do you even remember?
Or did it just slipped your mind?

Upload videos at Bolt.

Team video.

Video Discretion is advised. Heh.


Upload videos at Bolt.

And of course, there's the bloopers.

Courtesy of Nic & Azure, who added over dramatic or plain dumb scenes, all in good fun, none was included in the storyboard.

That's a good thing, hokay!

Oh ya, there's one where the girls danced to My Boy Lollipop.

Cannot post it up here though... too sexayyyy.

Enjoy!

mei yi ci he ni fen kai
shen shen de bei ni da bai

mei yi ci fang qi ni de wen rou
tong ku nan yi shi huai

mei yi ci he ni fen kai
mei yi ci kiss you goodbye

ai qing de zi wei ci ke wo zhong yu zui ming bai

Shaq claims my tear ducts have loosely expanded.
Oh please, yours too.
Mine stopped after Tuesday,can.

Some random sad love song x Some croony singer

And so the filming for Web Multi's Super MTV competition commences.
It was funfunfun but extremely draining.
We stuck with Rihanna's Unfaithful.
Initially, Azure (Ah-zuu-rri) wanted to do Beep by PCD.
He was reallyreally into doing the "Hah Hah Hah HAH" part.
Whatever, Azure -_-

Pictures are UP!

Azure was kinda hyper, as always.. so, he claimed the tripod and marched around campus singing that "Training to be soldiers to fight for our land.." song at the top of his lungs. But he soon grew weary of that and got obsessed with shouting "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!"... right at Pram's butt. Needless to say, she wasn't amused.

Pram and I handled most of the shots and we're pretty satisfied and proud with the scenes we managed to capture. The bloopers were hilarious!! It was good fun too... We toyed with angles and lighting.. shooting one scene in many,many,many different angles and the what have yous. We're Proud *beams*

This was the Supposed-to-be-but-didn't-turn-out-to-be Mrs Nicholas Gabriel. That's becaue... He left his beautiful bride for..

...this dashing, charming gentleman. Oklar, he does look (as he himself claimed) Charming in that outfit. Girls were staring and he was obsessing. Mr Azure a.k.a Mrs Nicholas Gabriel.

Continued down below...

and we continue with the pictures...

Here, we have the two main characters of our MTV. Apparently, Rihanna (lying down) left his girl for this guy. Tryina find his identity, I suppose. But they were darn realistic! And when they "kissed" I HAD to look away.

Alright...Some behind the scenes snaps.

I'll try to post the video up here once its done =D

To people who've always been there for me,

I thank you all sincerely for the faith and the encouragement. And this morning, when I woke up from my slumber, I realised that the more I ponder about the situations I'm facing now, the more I get crushed. Time will tell...and time will heal too. I've learnt to pick myself up cos I know I'm way stronger than this. Why grow weak and needy now...? Imma stop cryin, Imma stop being needy. I will just regain my self control. I'll walk with my head high, my heart full and my face cheery.

If it all falls apart. I will know deep in my heart, the only dream that mattered had come true.

Cos in this life, I was loved by you.

SkiNie's smiling again, guys =D

Shikin...what the hell is wrong with you?!
You can't keep doing this every night, girl.
Or every morning...or every afternoon too.


Come on...
Move your ass along already.
Get a move on, dammit.




Stay or run.
Its entirely your choice.
Stay, and i'm gonna love you.
Run, and i'm gonna run with you.

Syafiq's my bro.

At least someone in the household is happy and fulfilled =(

And the contact on top is his ex-girlfriend. She's tired of tryina stich her broken heart up... and obviously, tired of waiting too.

I didn't know my bro can be soooo mushy lar... Even I don't put those sorta nicks up.

But then again... Maybe, we're experiencing a different sort of love.

---------------------------------------------------

Today alone, approximately 9 people was particularly interested with my love life.

Everyone seemed to ask the same question

"You're walkin to campus alone?That's a first...Why arh?"

"Eh, you and Beng Han still together not...?"

"Eh, you not meeting your Ah Boy arh? Break-up is it...?"

"Kau ngan Beng Han masih on ke tak sial?"

Wah piang, I tell you.

Everytime someone comes up to me and asks, my heart goes a few inches lower down my gut.

Does it seem like we're not together anymore?

I wanna rant, but there's nothing I could say that would be apt enough to summarise what I feel.

We're still together...maybe, not as strong...but we need time to sort out certain stuff.

I appreciate the concern, I really do...

But it feels to me like, everyone just wants to know for the sake of knowing.

I don't think anyone really cares if we're still going on or not?

People can only say,people can only ask... but in the end, its still up to the both of us to see if we can work this out.

Gosh.

I believe that this entry is the first of its kind.

Apologies for the seriousness. I don't really feel like me right now.

Its like...I'm outside...looking in.

Tryina get back in..but then again, I don't really wanna be in my own shoes right now.

Oh,don't worry Nana...I still want my shoes...you can't have them, bitch.

I thank God I've got people like Zann, Linda & Lala.

Their nonsenses and chaoticism makes me laugh all the time.

And its not those sorta forced laughter either.

It's those that comes straight from the belly, tickles your heart and guffaws out your lips.

It my getaway from reality, you see.

Burn x Usher

Aaaaahhh...

Things just got worst with the folks.
Oh well.
Whatever.

I'm talking things out with my sister.
And she's beside me...Head on my shoulder, on my bed,one arm linked through mine, the other hand clicking away at the digicam.
Now, she's demanding Yong Tau Foo.
She's only 10...and she's so silly...still so...unaware and unhurt.

Hurt.
Yeah.

Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with
I think that you should let it burn.

Aahhh...I can lose weight if this continues...
That's the only "bright" side.

Till how long?
No one knows.

As always, just when things seem to be fine and cheery, it comes crashing down again.

As always.
Again.
It's like, its becoming a routine.

I don't know how long I can take this anymore before I reallyreallyreally have a permanent breakdown.

I don't mean to sound emo.

But right now, I'm wishing I'm somebody else.
Or at least, lemme be someplace where I can ponder...and reflect, maybe?
I need a time-out from all this shaits.

my world's a globe.
and he changed it from round...
to heart.

you're still very much needed, you see.

Linoleum x NOFX

That was...refreshing...and actually, fun.
Weirdddddd.

I knew there were bound to be some decent peoples in ITEs.

I declare the All-Mats-&-Minahs-Go-To-ITE perception over.

=D

Tickled pink.
Lotsa laughs.

Oh,and all the pretty Oriental-esque tops.
Lurves.

Mum didn't nag when I finally reached home.

After yesterday's shits, I deserved today,hokay.

*grins*

Quando, Quando, Quando x Nelly Furtado

I'm not in the best of moods today.

The only thing that's keepin me smiling right now are my Baby Blues comic strips.

Aaaahhh.

The moments where I smile myself silly.

Cheap thrills,yes?

Whatshername x Green Day

From Left to Right: Miss Linda Santos, Miss SkiN, Miss Tiko Monster, Miss Lala, Miss Pram.

(while waitin fer the guys to finish their freakin $2 per round of pool game at the cafe)

And and and...

Oh, Mother...I lovelovelove you when you're generous *kisses*

Baybeats anyone???

Strange & Beautiful x Aqualung

A well spent day of time wasting, pooling and slacking.

I'm soooo lookin forward to next week =D

And Azure claims Linda looks like Ronaldinho.

I believe it's cos of the hair.

Fix You x Coldplay

Dad says that when I turn 18, he wants me to enroll in driving lessons, and eventually get a license, so he doesn't have to drive all the time.

I told him I needed motivation and needed to see a reason why I would wanna drive a car. I'd rather ride a bike.

But I think I've finally found my motivation....

How bout my very own diamond studed Benz, Daddy?

It costs a freakingly stupid SG$1000 to touch and a blardy US$4.8 million to own.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend *hints at the Father*

Life In Mono x Mono

You guys should check out the bags under my eyes now man...

Even the eyeliner seemed to be drowned out by the colossal, gigarnous existence of these bloody bags.

Its been, a well spent weekend I must say.

I sailed through the week, thinking that I'll only have plans on Saturday morning, which is to go get my pill supply...

But it turned out to be a whole jammed packed weekend instead.

Met up with the friends of yesteryears (Hah.) and went to check out Fariq's band play around 6 pm.

OMG.

It was cool-ness, I tell ya.

They jammed, screamed and emo-ed through Matchbook Romance, Save Ferris and Dishwalla tunes.

Kudos to you guys!

But the people around were kinda irritating...

I think some of my gal pals got pinched in the butt, and the freakoons who did that got away with it, cos...I mean, come on... so many people, who's to blame?

I didn't get pinchedgropedtouched or whatever.Thank goodness.

I think they knew Daddy was near there...somewhere =D

It was kinda late when we found out there was gonna be a Futsal Fiesta near Buangkok's open field.

There was gonna be a Flea Market, Futsal-ly stuff going on and also a wide screen projector that was gonna telecast the Portugal/Germany match live.

And most of us decided to give it a shot.

The antics of people watching soccer was hilarious!!

Those who fell asleep, those who brought their BBQ grills, those who brough tents.

And since there was a total of 4 goals throughout the match...it wasn't a silent audience.

They whooped, cursed and screamed the morning away.

I felt so... Tough Guy *flexes* (Okay, I know that sounds wrong.)

Dad was proud he wore his Germany jersey *rolls eyes*

We had durians for breakfast =D

Eventually reached home around...seven-ish.

Slept in till 12 pm...and got ready to go to the library and shoe shopping with baby sis.

Mum & Dad eventually went out to look for cloth to make outfits for Hari Raya, which isn't too far away.

I feel dizzy now...I think it's due to the lack of sleep.

But...I wanna watch the Finals later on!!

But then again, there's school in the morning tomorrow...and I might be tutoring at night too.

Err...I think I'd better miss the game.

I don't wanna look like the walking dead tomorrow.

Dammit, I knew I should've brought the digi along during Saturday.

Shait.

Shikin,Skin & Nurul says bye!

Ballack, Klose & Podolski sagt Auf Wiedersehen!

Cannavaro, Totti & Camoranesi dice ciao!

Zidane, Trezeguet & Ribery dit au revoir!

Hyper dey!!

and everything I did, I can't seem to keep myself occupied enough to stop wishing you were right there with me.

Holla At Ur Homeboy x Luke Feat Petey Pablo & Pitbull

LALA! Your buah has finally jatuh-ed =)

Here are the rules to the other 5 people that I have tagged:
1- Do the following w/o complaint
2- Choose the 5 OTHER people to this after you have completed yours
3- Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to acknowlegde them
4- Start the post with Ive been tagged
5- Make sure you listed 7 points in each title

Favourites

Favourite Colour: People close to me know I really like the combi of hotpink+black. But if I was forced to choose one, it'll definitely be caramel brown
Favourite Song: I don't really have favourites...I'm more of a universal listener, I suppose... But currently, I'm into Staind songs
Favourite Movie: Undoubtedly Grease. I watched it till the VCD gave up on me
Favourite Sport: Great S'pore Sale marathon? Which is yet to be fulfilled?! Ok, I used to Golf... Quite liked it too...Though Beng Han finds it dumb -_-"
Favourite Season: When there's no scorching Sun, no gloomy clouds, no heavy downpour
Favourite Ice cream Flavour: Cookie Dough!!Even though I kinda forgot how it tasted like. The last time I had was during my Seoul Garden days.Sir Dominic used to let us Seoul Gardeners have tubs of ice cream fer the staff dinner after work last time.Everyone knows who handles the Cookie Dough

Currents

Current Mood: Stoned
Current Addiction: Peeling skin off the boyfriend
Current Craving: A good, sappy love song
Current Thought: I'm gonna march right over to Lala across the room and kill her for making me do this!!
Current Surrounding: The new fac who looks like the Mayor from Powerpuff Girls, Jocelyn talking about music and Chew Choo who's bobbing her head to her lappie's music

Current Loathe: Having tutoring tonight
Current Need: Truckloads of retail/sleep/TLC therapy

Firsts

First Love: My late gramps' mashed potatoes
First Memory: Walking at those void deck shops and my late gramps buying me this toy cooking set thingie
First Failure: Learning to ride a two wheeler at the age of 7? Or maybe missing Mama's mamilas during feeding time? Can't recall the "First" leh
First Death Thought: After the September 11 incident

First Loathe: Squid/Sotong
First Underwear: Errr...those diaper cloths?
First School: PAP Bedok....with those cute flippy blue skirts bottoms as uniform...I can never get away with those now

Lasts

Last time I visited the toilet: Just mere minutes ago, with around 5 other gals from class
Last Shave: Last Saturday...I devote time to shave on Saturday mornings.. I call it my Detox, Exfoliate, Cleanse day
Last time watching TV: This morning...was watching the World Cup premium breakfast show
Last lie: This morning...Hehs... I told Mama my pills weren't depleted yet when she asked about them
Last time I did some Charity work: Donated $5 bucks to bro's NCC fund

Last hope given to you: Ermmm...Can't differentiate if its hope given to me...or if it was triggered by myself
Last dream that I had: The only dream I remember now is the one I'm tryina forget

Have You Evers

Have you ever seen a man been slaughtered: EUWWW. Besides movies, no. Thank GAWD

Have you ever seen a rat being rundown by a car: Uh huh. But please, rats are so small... I've seen a squashed cat before,ok! At Tanglin Campus' road side.It was like a daily sight for almost a week.

Have you ever thought that you can't live without love: Yes...It scares me sometimes.
Have you ever thought that your fart smells: Duh. Haha.... My bro gives off the best "Silent Killers".
Have you ever think that one day your dream will come true: Yes, of course. A dream is a wish your heart makes. If you put your heart into it, it won't stay a dream for long.
Have you ever fell down from the bike: Yerp, from my bicycle and Dad's Super Four.

Have you ever tasted insect cocktail: HAH. This isn't really Fear Factor...but maybe, by accident, I had?

Do Yous

Do you love to fart or being fart: How does one gets to the state of "Being fart"?!
Do you handle problems properly: I hope I do...But in the end, the mess does sort itself out
Do you think you have a bright future: I hope so... I wanna join the Tourism & Hospital or People Services industry

Do you lie your way often: If its really desperate, yes
Do you hate yourself sometimes: Yeah, I do. I hate myself when I'm messed up or when I can make things go the way I planned it to
Do you think that you are FAT: You can see me from way across the causeway. I don't think. I KNOW I'm FAT
Do you think that your friends are true friends: Yes, quite a handful of them are pretty honest people with great personalities

Regrets

Regrets being the 1st child in the family: Nope. There's many privileges... Especially, if you're a Daddy's girl
Regrets being a girl: Never. There's soooo many shops to cater to us. And don't think I can ever get accustomed to having a willy hanging between my legs. Serious
Regrets knowing that someone special: Never had and never will. Best thing that happened to me after sucha loooooong time

Regrets buying contact lenses: Mama doesn't allow contacts. She tries to scare me with stories of eye accidents regarding to contacts. I don't even wear my frames often
Regrets in going into Poly: Nope,its what I wanted to do after the O's...though I was kinda sad about gettin posted to RP initially, but now... I love the lifestyle and the friends here
Regrets being hurt before by guys: Yeah. But through those, I learnt to not let my walls down so easily

Regrets in working: Never!! Working is damn fun,can!?! From Seoul Garden as floor staff, to Breeks Cafe as barista, to Breeks American Restaurant as floor staff and now, I tutor kids. The income the rake in allows me to splurge once in awhile. These splurges are ESSENTIAL

There... you have it...
And the next 5 people are...

Whoever who wants to do it, I guess?

Hehs.

Not gonna pester anyone =)

Doing Too Much x Paula Deanda

I need my confidant back.

We've grown so far apart.
Come back please,I've got so much to say, so much to rant.

Mum askin alot about you nowadays doesn't help me rid of this feeling.

- • lie on the deck and flop like a fish • says:
yea.. so u should hold on to him tighter mom

Its amazing how 2 hours of time alone can make you feel SOOOOO much better...
...can make you feel that stuff ain't that bad after all.
That if you take one small step at a time, you'll reach there, slowly but surely.

I guess I do feel better now.
And that waddling baby who was sooooo scared to walk down the from the pavement to the wooden planks a few centimetres below cracked such a huge grin from me.
Adorable,can?

I've never seen a more beautiful sunset in any heartlands.
I've never felt so glad being alone for some time.

I gotta start walking with a spring in my step.
A smile on my face.
A song in my heart.

Miss Murder x AFI

Into the depths of the pits of the unknown
We freefall into.
Not knowing what's in store.
Gambling, unknowingly.
Look into these eyes...
That were meant for watching over you.
Can you read what I'm trying to say?

As you instill in me trust
I welcomed this new presence
Is it any wonder that I find myself feeling this way
Not knowing what to expect...
And though it used to scare me before
I found myself expecting for more

You gave me reason
To finally believe that sometimes...
Its worth waiting for
All it takes is an open mind...
A sincere bond
A willing heart
For destiny to come around
And change one moment into unexpected fate.

Skeptics & True Believers x The Academy Is...

The RJ for 27 June 2006 (RP Conservation Effort) is:
List 12 to 15 conservation efforts by RP (given in the talk)

SHIT SEH.
I wasn't really listening to the talk, was busy finishing up the codes fer Java.
And its due by 12 midnight tonight but I've no idea what to write besides the fact that we're paperless. Can someone help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?

Shit.

I'm kinda torn between the fact of backing out or staying around for the International Monetary Fund a.k.a World Banking thingie. Like, it suddenly hit me how much responsibilities, time, effort and discipline its gonna take to get through those 5 days.

Its, 9 hours per day...and its a 24 hour thing...meaning that my shift could be from 10.30 pm to 7.30 am the next day...and they didn't say anything about allowing us to choose shifts.

I'll be damn busy and occupied but I guess, its kinda worth it. The experience I'll gain and all.

2,000 volunteers from different education instituitions and the public.
96 student volunteers from RP.

I'm nervous know.