My Paper Heart x The All American Rejects

I don't know.
I mean... I should be happy, yes?
The ones I love sure are happy.
Everything right now... seems just perfect.
So, why do I feel so hollow?

I remember what Is said to me once,
"In order for the ones you love to be happy, sometimes you gotta sacrifice more than you're willing to."

And I remember disagreeing with him.
It just felt like that was one of the stupidest things that boy ever said to me.
I asked him why should I be the one sacrificing for the sake of seeing others happy... when I'm not.
Why should anyone have to sacrifice anything/anyone for the sake of everyone else?
And he said, I won't understand till it happened to me one day.
I remember how strongly I disagreed with him... and told him that I won't ever be one of those people who'd ever do that.
I'm my own person, no one has the right to influence my decisions whatsoever.

Yet, right now... I'm being a hypocrite to myself.

And at this very moment, I'm pretty sure Han would be messaging/calling me to ask what's going on after he reads this.
Don't be mad at me for feeling like this, love...
I'm not going back on my words.
I did this for us.





there's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh, beautiful release
memory seep from my veins
let me be empty
or weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

Bedshaped x Keane

I, Wan Nurulashikin Binte Syed Hussein, solemly swear to, never,ever, ever skip another module till after 31st May 07 (read: Han's 19th =D )

It's only been the 2nd week of semester and already, this week, I've only went to school once.
Pfffft.

BUT.
The first time I did was because it was inevitable.
No, reallyyyy.

How in the world am I suppose to sit through the digital media design module with only 1/3 of my LCD displaying... while the remaining remains pitch black?
How do you start "designing" when you can't see a damn thing?!

I made my way to that Acer building in Jurong's International Business Park, where they replaced it with a new screen, right then and there.
Phew.

Then... today... errr... I reached school about 45 minutes late... and it was raining really badly... and I really wasn't in the mood to sit through a Healthcare Applications I module.

Soooo, I dragged Han, who was supposed to have Creative Media Enterprise today, along with me.
Heh.

Okay.
That's it.
No more "ponning", skipping, escaping, "it's too beautiful a day to waste in cooped up in class, so WHY ARE WE STILL HERE?!" urges.

I mean it.
And YOU, hold onto that pinkie swear.

Next time I tell you I'm considering skipping modules, kindly drag my sorry ass to class.

Heh.
Loveyouloaaaaaads.

the painnnnn.
it's been going on for hours now.

make it stop.

Better Than Me x Hinder

Right.
I've seriously haven't got the time to update.
First semester of my Final Year's off to a hectic start.

For now, I'm just....
1) Trying to figure which 4 different classes I've to get to for 4 different modules without embarrassing myself by rushing into the wrong class
2) Trying to get my voice back after a spectacularly awesome Freshmen Orientation Program
3) Trying to revive the crypts in late Bubblegum's tank (yes it died, i'm a bad,bad frog parent)
4) Trying to decide if I should accept those 2 tutoring requests...


Gah.
I need sleep.
Yes, now.

I'll leave you with the pretty long Conga line that was formed during that little "clubbing" scene we had at SIT's home base after the pretty impressive party RP threw at the football field.

It's still weird going to bed knowing that there's no Bubblegum hopping around and pigging out at night.

*sigh*

Ruby x Kaiser Chiefs

I'm starting to realise that the way I love changes as I get older...

As a kid, I loved with all my heart... love was pure.
It was my "Kindergarten love"....
You know, the kind of love where you don't have to be anyone else but yourself, when you trust whole heartedly and you didn't ask for/expect anything in return.
That person who came along and willingly shared that box of crayon was my first best friend -if a girl, my first crush - if a boy.
It's was simple, if not really logical...

As a young teen, I trusted people with all my heart AND soul.
It was my "Friends came before family, family came before self love"
I gave my friends and loved ones my all.
It was a “My best friend is never in the wrong” kinda phase.
I pledged my whole hearted loyalty to the ones I held dear.

Once school was out and everyone went their separate ways, keeping the love posed a challenge.
I won't say that some of it wasn't due to my doings.
I was always busy, I came up with excuses at times... I didn't think they'd understand what the real situation was.

I long for the days when we'll get caught by Mrs. Danapal for wearing ankle socks with out Sleeze/ North Star/Umbro skate sneakers, for the times when the class won't wanna pay up the $1 for the very important notes for the 'O' Levels and labeled me "Miss Monitress Loanshark", for days when we'll lie down at the basketball court and stare at the blue, blue skies when Mr. Andrew Yeo took our class for Physical Education and when we headed to eat in a group of 13-16 at the nearby Banquet...

Also, how can I forget our "Minah/Mat" phase when the boys got their pants tapered, the girls went ahead with DIY piercings of our tongues and noses (the pain!) and when everything ended with a "Seh, Siak, Sial, Siol, Tau takpe". *laughs*
Stupid and silly as it was, it's certainly a phase I won't forget.

Its not easy to maintain a friendship.
I've learnt from the years that had passed that it took LOADSA effort and willpower.
You can say it can be likened to a toil of blood sweat and tears with a healthy dose of humour and love.
The result?
Totally worth it.

The ones who are still with you, you treasure like gold.

As for right now, I don't love as freely as I would like to.
I've become wary and judgmental.
I haven't got a label for it yet... don't think I ever will.
I find it near impossible to allow new good friends into my life.
Especially with the ones who get too chummy with me on first meet.
I tend to get suspicious of their intentions.
It became like a “what do they want from me” thing.

But of course there are a handful of new good friends that I've gotten acquainted with in the recent years.

And oh, how can I forget the fact that I met a boy named Han, who initially was a nice, shy guy friend (who've seen me rough it out playing soccer, pretty much impersonating a deranged, sweating gorilla in a state of panic) who somehow managed to make me fall for him when we decided to "pon" school at 8.23 am on a gorgeous Thursday morning over a year ago.... and who now has been sharing and exploring a romantic relationship with me for 14 months, 8 days ♥

It's been totally worth it.

Bang x Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Stomach flu.
Again.

So, here comes the indescribable coldness, accompanied with the unexplained perspiring.
Again.

Oh.
The puking's here to stay too.
Again.

Hopefully, I'll be up and running by the time FOP arrives.

Wait For You x Elliot Yamin

First FYP meeting today with the ladies =)
It went well...
Minus the fact that we kept digressing when Zann and Lala started talking dirty *faints*
I'm pretty positive we'll generate a great end product.

Here's them.
My FYP Wonder Women.

Linda, Lala, Zann

Being around them brought back so many memories of the days when we were still in E35N.
Pretty darn awesome times.
Heck, I can't remember a semester where there were modules that I didn't skip even for a day.

Manymanymany extremely hyper moments....

Like this...


And this...


And DEFINITELY this.


We all love this eccentric woman.

Side note...

I miss you, love ♥

credits: Han ♥

well, you are the one, the one that lies close to me
whispers hello, i miss you quite terribly
i fell in love, in love with you suddenly
now there's no place else i could be but here in your arms...


G'night all =)

Last Night x Diddy Feat Keisha Cole

There's nothing better than a Great Romance to ruin a
Perfectly Good Friendship

happy 13th, sweet sweet love.

credits: Han *huggggggggggggs*